The things I wish someone would have told me...

So here goes my list of things I wish I knew about having a baby...

1. your hair falls out...lots of it, some people experience bald spots. I didn't but have heard it happens. So be prepared to constantly have frizzy hair.

2. your breasts will hurt bleed chap, cracked and no longer feel as youthful and be thought of as sexy, they are food, they are your babies.

3. time will fly by and you will wonder what you did all day and how you couldn't manage to even start a load of laundry, let alone complete it.

4. you don't need a ton of clothing...in the summer your baby will probably wear next to nothing and in the winter sleepers are good enough.

5. you will have no time to yourself,  even the simplest of tasks will involve your baby and you will plan everything around him/her.

6. your day is miserable if your baby doesn't want to nap and you will realize why you had a bed time as a child...for your parents mental health and you now know why they got so mad when you wouldn't go to sleep.

There are tons of things I could go on about..but these are just some of the first things I noticed.
Follow Me @happysgurl

PCOS

I just realized that I forgot to mention that in the beginning of my relationship with SO we had always talked about having children, he has two but that is complicated and not my business to talk about, but he wanted more.

On our one year anniversary he through my birth control in the garbage and I was so happy. It was what I always wanted yet for the next year it seemed to elude us. That summer I had a few months where I hadn't had my period in 3 months so off I went to the doctors. I was referred to a OB/GYN who gave me medication to start my period and hopefully that would kick me back on to being regular. Well it helped but I wouldn't call me regular, I had to take the medication another time too. I knew I had to have been trying for a year before I would worry. Then came my one year anniversary of trying and still nothing and my period was still erratic. The OB/GYN referred me to a specialist who diagnosed me with having Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I went for monthly blood work and ultrasounds, I was on medication to correct my blood sugars so that my insulin wouldn't affect my hormones and help me ovulate.

Six months later we had some personal issues that made us chose to up and move our lives back to our home town. Stressful times and I decided to stop the medication cause at this point having a baby wasn't something we could deal with at the time. My cycle returned to normal while we were back in our hometown where we stayed for the next 3 years but nothing ever happened pregnancy wise but we decided if it were meant to happen it would. We joked that my cycle returned to normal because there are hormones in the water, as our town has a high teenage pregnancy rate.

In 2009 we moved back to the city with my Mom, it was meant to be temporary but it just seemed to work and we stayed there until 2012 a month before the birth of my daughter, but let me get back to 9 months prior to her birth...

Pre-Pregnancy

I used to be a big drinker but had basically quit drinking for about two years other then maybe one or two a year. I had a major blow out with my brother's ex girlfriend and started having a few drinks and had a good time, so I thought I have no major responsibilities I can have a few drinks here and there... Well that didn't last long. Decided to go on a shopping trip with my Mom to the States one weekend in late October thought as I was trying on jeans that they were a little tight cause I was PMS'ing even said that to a sales girl, lol. When we got back was trying on new clothes and showing SO and thought to myself, I wasn't quite sure when I was due to have my period and perhaps I was late...as we were getting ready for bed I mentioned to SO maybe we'd grab a test the next day.

We got up the next day and went about the day as normal and near dinner time we were at Walmart and so i grabbed a test. As SO was bbq'íng I went in and did a test...it was positive, called SO and his reaction was priceless he looked at the test and was like "what does that mean?"

And so began our parenting journey...so much for PCOS, all signs say different and doctors I have seen have kind of did a "pfffff" when I mentioned that diagnosis.

Fast Forward...

Well the first couple of months went by pretty fast mostly a blur but not for lack of sleep. It was mostly just he whirlwind of euphoria...I spent most of my days in disbelief that this beautiful baby was mine I had created her, she had grown inside my body.

15 months later here I am a Stay at Home Mom who is still Breastfeeding and trying to figure my way through Motherhood. My house is constantly messy and I still wonder where the day went and how can I run after DD and pick up the same things over and over again but never seem to accomplish much.

A lot of times I feel down and tired, I don't feel much like a woman. I wear comfy clothes (or pj's ) all the time as I seem to have gained more weight after having DD then I did when I was pregnant with her. To be honest I ate/eat junk food like crazy...as soon as she was out and I could have sugars again I went crazy. People asked if they could bring me anything when visiting those 2 days in the hospital and I said "Timbits" lol. Probably not such a good idea :) I have lost a bit since the winter, but with winter coming back I need to watch myself.

Baby #2?

We have also discussed having another if it happens and have decided we would be more then happy but we recently went through a scary miscarriage, well scary for us who have never had one before. I had found out I was pregnant on a Thursday and had miscarried as of the Sunday, was sent home as I had chosen to let thing continue to progress naturally. I was breastfeeding so I didn't want to take medication and the other option, a D&C was not something I wanted to do knowing I had a baby to look after at home. SO works outside and therefore needs to get all the work he can during the good weather and without me working it's not like we could afford it.

Wednesday evening SO had taken DD out for a walk before dinner and I had some cramps that were pretty painful, when I went into the bathroom and when SO came back I still there and was bleeding continually so we packed up and went up to the hospital. By time I had been checked in I had bleed through my clothes...I was admitted and sent to a room where I was given adult diapers which I was changing every half hour and that was only because that was the point I couldn't stand it anymore. They monitored for a bit and I was given medication to essentially induce a labour so I could pass the remainder of the pregnancy. It wasn't too bad for me and after a few more hours I was allowed to go home. Over the next two and half weeks I continued to bleed/spot. I am thankful that it is finally over and now we can try again.

New Baby New Life...and a change of plans

Big Plans...little thought

So before I had DD I had big plans on going back to work, having family babysit her and just going on with my life. I didn't know that I would be so in love with this little person that I wouldn't want her out of my sight. The whole idea of going to my Dad's and hanging out in the summer was squashed, he has big aggressive dogs and I wouldn't be comfortable with her there as SO was already bit by one while I was pregnant. Even my own cats fell victim to the protectiveness I felt over this little tiny girl, they were pushed away and untrustworthy all of a sudden.

My other plans of having DD and heading home within 24 hrs was dashed too by my choice to have the c-section which left us in a bit of a financial pickle. I had already applied for my maternity benefits but had yet to receive them and with the cost of the move and travelling back and forth to appointments had left us broke. Parking was almost $20 a day and then food for SO was not cheap at the hospital and leaving and repaying parking was out of the question. Stress, stress, stress...I also opted to leave the hospital a day earlier then they recommended as well, still struggling with breastfeeding.

Heading Home

So heading home was a bit of a challenge as we only have a pickup truck and we had so much stuff from our days of waiting and then not being entirely sure how to fit in the car seat we called my dad. So my Dad and Stepmother came and picked us up the drive home wasn't too bad other then the two of them arguing about the traffic (it was a long weekend and Friday night) and the seat belt pressing on my incision. Oh and did I mention it was during a heatwave and my Dad thought it was unhealthy for DD to breathe recycled air?

It was so nice to be home, as soon as my parents left  felt like I could finally breathe. My SO was a little concerned that we came early especially with me just having surgery and the new baby. He had previous had children in another relationship but they were natural births and he was much younger. DD was his second chance and he wasn't prepared to take any chances with her safety or mine so we had some tension that very first night, which we both got over quickly.

We seemed to get into a routine pretty easily over the next couple of weeks and I think my major saving grace was having my SO home with me for the first 2 months. He cooked, he cleaned and he supported me even though we had to deal with combining our parenting styles which led to a few disagreements but nothing we couldn't overcome.

Follow @happysgurl

Being a Mom for a whole day...

I am a MOM...

So for the first day of my daughters life things were alright, a little stressful though. I could not for the life of me get her to latch and I couldn't find a comfortable hold in that very uncomfortable hospital bed. I also was still itchy from the morphine, which is what was in my epidural. Now for a girl who barely takes a Tylenol this was pretty hard core for me and then to realize that the Benadryl they were giving me was making me feel off too. I don't even normally take cold medication cause I get all messed up, lol.

During my first Mommy day I did my best to breastfeed and still no matter how hard I tried could not figure it out. Had a few visitors and tried to sleep a little, but that night my SO had to go home and check on our pets and get himself a comfortable nights sleep, he had slept on cots and chairs for the last two nights and had been awaken every time I was checked on or the baby stirred.

Holy SH*T I am a MOM!

My first time ALONE was scary at first I didn't want him to go but I understood and he made sure he let the nurse assigned to me know  as well. The nurse I had was great she was supportive when I was frustrated about the baby not latching and she stayed and talked with me and didn't make me feel guilty about cup feeding DD.

After the nurse left I was alone again and I could do nothing but stare at this beautiful little girl in amazement...she was mine.  I created this perfect beautiful little girl. Wow!

The next time the nurse popped her head in she reminded me I should get some sleep...after a bit more staring, I did.

Follow @happysgurl

Just Starting out...

So I won a prize yesterday from @Pampers and @WalmartCanada #PampersStork and I realized that there are a lot of Mom's out there Blogging. I thought to myself, "why not me?" I am going through many changes in my life, becoming a Mom and becoming a stay at home Mom within the last 15 months maybe someone can relate to me and well really it gives me a place to speak my mind and vent, cause honestly at times being a Mom is not easy.

From the 'Almost' Beginning...

When I became pregnant we were living with my Mom and had never thought a baby would be a part of our lives, we had been together for 8 years and even at one point had seen a fertility doctor and never ever got pregnant. My pregnancy felt like a whirlwind, so much going on, we decided to move back to our hometown, I had Gestational Diabetes and heart and lung issues. I had appointments constantly it seemed and near the end they multiplied. I had numerous readings of low fluid and was back and forth to the hospital twice a day for the last three weeks of my pregnancy. Finally after my third low reading my doctor insisted that I be induced which was fine with me, that was on Monday. Left the hospital and drove the 45 minutes home and was to go back down 4 hours later or if there were any major changes. At 8 pm headed back to the hospital to only be told that although I was contracting every 3 minutes I had only dilated 2 cm and to come back the next day at 10 am or if there were any changes. I was very nervous about going back and forth and the bumps in the road were very painful, the very rude doctor told me i could wait it out in the lobby if I wanted. Me and SO (my significant other) discussed and decided to go home. After barely sleeping that night I called my doctor the next morning and tell him what happened, he called me right back and told me to head down he was going to admit me and we would wait it out there. So back to the hospital we went to get checked in and to get re-induced. Tuesday contracted all day again and slept very little, by Wednesday morning I was exhausted and done with the inducing. At noon when I was being checked again and was still only at 2 cm I requested a c-section. My doctor who was in the hospital came by and checked on me and wanted me to wait it out but understood and was okay with my going forward with the surgery.

At 7 pm I was prepped and by 8 pm I had been given my freezing and meds and was on the table. It was a weird sensation not feeling my legs but it cool too. Finally my SO was brought in and he looked nervous and worried I was smiling like an idiot feeling euphoric and excited to meet our little girl. At 9:06 she was out, they showed me her over the screen and I just remember feeling a rush of love and happiness. She was cleaned, checked and wrapped and left with my SO while they finished sewing me up. I was wheeled out to finally have a meeting with my baby.

She was beautiful! I knew right then I would rather die then be without her. When I was taken to a room I began feeling an extreme itchy feeling and could not stop scratching my face and so they gave me Benedryl which made me feel out of it and I guess I was cause my SO stayed the night with me and basically looked after the baby while I itched and got frustrated trying to breastfeed. I thought breastfeeding would be natural and easy, it wasn't and definitely not easy when I couldn't focus on holding the baby for the intense itching. The baby was cup feed while I slept off the meds and my SO slept on a cot at the end of my bed when he was taking care of the baby.
Follow @happysgurl