So all my ideas of all we would do this summer with the new car has yet to happen...Although we do have plans for the fall, just watching for a super good deal on a hotel...Skyline Inn is where we want to stay but we missed out on a super deal so Hubby wants to wait and see if we can get something that good. I keep watching day after day, hoping it will drop soon.
We did manage to do a few things, we had our Cousin BBQ with my cousins on my mom's side and it was awesome as always, we all get along really well and I can't wait until next year. I manage to get out and visit a few friends but still have plenty more to see.
I also found out that I need to have surgery on my arm... Not sure if I mentioned pinching a nerve in my elbow but I did it a while back, like in March, and it has never corrected itself or gotten any better. I knew that I only had two options so I was hoping it would just work itself out which is the only other option besides the surgery that I can find in my research. Well I went and saw a specialist and it appears I have nerve damage now and am showing signs of muscle weakness in my hand, so because it is not improving it is my only option now. I haven't got a date yet and I am a little anxious to get it over with, but also a little concerned cause I am not sure how well I am going to do with a very busy toddler and a gimped up arm.
In other big news...I went out to my dad's and it was alright...we been out a few times now and it has been good, get the odd comment and the dogs have kept mostly at bay. One dog at a time has worked and zero contact with the Rottweiler that bit Hubby and all has been good. She loves my dad and excited to go see him and I love the bond they are forming but...He is really pushing for her to be closer to my step-mom and for her to spend some one on one time with her. I wish I could just say "ya sure" but I am not comfortable with that yet... for many reasons.
I have always been known as the forgiving one and the one who lets things go, but now I find somethings from the past are resurfacing and I am just unable to let them go. Growing wasn't easy, we didn't have much money and circumstances weren't easy when we left living with our mom abruptly and started living with my dad, his girlfriend and not even a year old half brother. I know sometimes I wasn't easy to live with either but I don't think I deserve the treatment I received. My step-mom and I fought, a lot, I always felt like I ruined her whole plan of happiness and that she never wanted us (me and my older brother) around. From the sneaking treats to my little brother and nothing to us, to the comments that my mother should have aborted me, how could I not? I left home when I was 17 and lived with my friend until college where I went back to live with my mom and forge an awesome relationship.
Now the problem is as a mother I could never imagine treating someone who came to me with obvious issues the way she treated me. Hubby has two kids from a previous relationship and I could never imagine treating them like they are in the way or a burden.
How do I get over this? Can I?
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